Voices in my head http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:55:00 GMT http://bandzoogle.com Stand-Up Smackdown at the Wheeler Opera House, this Saturday. http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=189938 The last Stand-Up Smackdown at the Wheeler Opera House was truly one of the best nights of stand--up I've seen - ANYWHERE! The second in their series is coming this Saturday, so if you have the night open I STRONGLY suggest that you get your fanny & funny bone over there. You won't regret it. Link here: http://www.aspenshowtickets.com/tickets/eventsAll.cfm?ID=1605 Details:  Tickets: $25; reserved seating (Save $5 off each ticket if you purchase a ticket for all 3 Smackdown performances!) The second SMACKDOWN takes place on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27 with four new faces to the Aspen scene. Former San Francisco Comedy Competition winner and this year's runner up DANNY BEVINS, 2009 Boston Comedy Festival winner DAVE McDONOUGH, the runner up in 2009 Seattle Comedy Competition, PAUL HOOPER, and Nantucket, Boston, and Long Island comedy festivals star MAUREEN LANGAN, who also this year became the first female finalist in San Francisco since Ellen Degeneres. The final SMACKDOWN occurs on Saturday, March 13. XM Satellite Radio regular MELANIE MALOY and 2009 Seattle Comedy Competition winner and two-time Last Comic Standing veteran SEAN KENT pave the way for Nebraska Comedy Festival winner KERMIT APIO. Returning 2008 Rooftop Comedy Festival veteran VINCE MORRIS, who has also had his own Comedy Central half-hour special since last seen in town, closes out the evening. Tickets for all shows will be priced at $25.00 and will include a post-show meet-and-greet with all of the performers. Present your paid ticket stub at the Wheeler Gift Shop in the Lobby Bar during this performance and get 10% off your purchase.
Details: 
Tickets: $25; reserved seating (Save $5 off each ticket if you purchase a ticket for all 3 Smackdown performances!)

The second SMACKDOWN takes place on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27 with four new faces to the Aspen scene. Former San Francisco Comedy Competition winner and this year's runner up DANNY BEVINS, 2009 Boston Comedy Festival winner DAVE McDONOUGH, the runner up in 2009 Seattle Comedy Competition, PAUL HOOPER, and Nantucket, Boston, and Long Island comedy festivals star MAUREEN LANGAN, who also this year became the first female finalist in San Francisco since Ellen Degeneres.

The final SMACKDOWN occurs on Saturday, March 13. XM Satellite Radio regular MELANIE MALOY and 2009 Seattle Comedy Competition winner and two-time Last Comic Standing veteran SEAN KENT pave the way for Nebraska Comedy Festival winner KERMIT APIO. Returning 2008 Rooftop Comedy Festival veteran VINCE MORRIS, who has also had his own Comedy Central half-hour special since last seen in town, closes out the evening.

Tickets for all shows will be priced at $25.00 and will include a post-show meet-and-greet with all of the performers.

Present your paid ticket stub at the Wheeler Gift Shop in the Lobby Bar during this performance and get 10% off your purchase.

]]> Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:55:00 GMT 3392E3549060B085FA894778A29FE09A Mid-Season Blues-Buster Needed http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=179765 Seasons. We live by seasons up here in the mountains. Ski season. Summer season. Mud season. Off-season. Biking season. Get-Outta-Dodge Season. Funny to watch the ebb & flow of energy so closely tied to skier traffic, mountain activity, and the weather - especially the weather. A major snowstorm brings a flurry of extra snow-removal work, accompanied by a rush of adrenaline as powder-pigs rush to write their names on virgin slopes. Lately the virgin powder has been as rare as...well,,,as virgins. Got a barely respectable 2-4 inches Sunday night, but the sun was out by this afternoon, putting us in a mind of early March temps instead of chilly and powdery early February. And so it goes with those of us who live in and for the weather. The weather calls the shots, we respond. And so we gather again to rattle our comedic minds Tuesday night and attempt to shake laughter out of ourselves and our audiences. And I'm never disappointed at the outcome. There's a last-minute line-up change to announce. Travis Klein had to cancel, but Apri Clark gamely agreed to step and bring it for the troops. So - here we go: Bob Richmond Brooks Werner Todd Hartley Glenn Smith Gail Mason April Clark myself X-Games is gone, but Charlie Sheen is in town. The Super Bowl is over, but the Olymics kicks off on Friday. Big events come & go, but comedy will always be here, waiting for the shit to hit the fan so we can follow-up with the paint brushes to make comedic art out of the mess. Join us, won't you?
And so we gather again to rattle our comedic minds Tuesday night and attempt to shake laughter out of ourselves and our audiences. And I'm never disappointed at the outcome. There's a last-minute line-up change to announce. Travis Klein had to cancel, but Apri Clark gamely agreed to step and bring it for the troops. So - here we go:

Bob Richmond
Brooks Werner
Todd Hartley
Glenn Smith
Gail Mason
April Clark
myself

X-Games is gone, but Charlie Sheen is in town. The Super Bowl is over, but the Olymics kicks off on Friday. Big events come & go, but comedy will always be here, waiting for the shit to hit the fan so we can follow-up with the paint brushes to make comedic art out of the mess.

Join us, won't you?
]]> Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:06:10 GMT C529D603E771F82AD9AC1427628A6E1F Comedy at the Cabaret, Tuesday, Feb. 9th. http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=177125 Just going over the lineup for the next show at Comedy at the Cabaret in Snowmass on Feb. 9: Bob Richmond Brooks Werner Travis Klein Todd Hartley Glenn Smith Gail Mason myself This should be an interesting show! Three of the 7 are fairly new to the comedy stage, but all have good chops and very different styles, something that should keep the local regulars happy - and guessing. We will just have come off of both X-Games (last weekend) and the Super Bowl (this weekend), with Mardi Gras and the spring break crowds just around the corner. There's a little feeling of Spring in the air -- longer days (LOVE LOVE  LOVE the sun!) - and really not much of a true winter feel owing to the lack of snow. We could use more, but until them we'll have to make due with what we've got, start apres ski a little earlier, drink more beer and laugh a little harder in an effort to shake some snow outta the trees. This Saturday is a little film (video) experiment with some freinds in Aspen. Taking a short comedy idea of mine to the streets for a quick group-effort at creating a 2-minute piece entitled "Extra Foam?: A Conspiracy Of Milk".  Will let you know how it goes. For my downvalley (Carbondale) friends, I've got a show next Friday, Feb. 12, at Steve's Guitars. "Love 2 Laugh, Volume II", a pre-Valentine's look at love, relationships, and why men are always just plain wrong. It'll be good to return to Steve's again -- first time since last Nov. when we did Comedy For Coats II. That's it for now. Buy a ticket (online - it's way cheaper), and I'll see you at the show.
  • Bob Richmond
  • Brooks Werner
  • Travis Klein
  • Todd Hartley
  • Glenn Smith
  • Gail Mason
  • myself
    • This should be an interesting show! Three of the 7 are fairly new to the comedy stage, but all have good chops and very different styles, something that should keep the local regulars happy - and guessing. We will just have come off of both X-Games (last weekend) and the Super Bowl (this weekend), with Mardi Gras and the spring break crowds just around the corner.

    There's a little feeling of Spring in the air -- longer days (LOVE LOVE  LOVE the sun!) - and really not much of a true winter feel owing to the lack of snow. We could use more, but until them we'll have to make due with what we've got, start apres ski a little earlier, drink more beer and laugh a little harder in an effort to shake some snow outta the trees.

    This Saturday is a little film (video) experiment with some freinds in Aspen. Taking a short comedy idea of mine to the streets for a quick group-effort at creating a 2-minute piece entitled "Extra Foam?: A Conspiracy Of Milk".  Will let you know how it goes.

    For my downvalley (Carbondale) friends, I've got a show next Friday, Feb. 12, at Steve's Guitars. "Love 2 Laugh, Volume II", a pre-Valentine's look at love, relationships, and why men are always just plain wrong. It'll be good to return to Steve's again -- first time since last Nov. when we did Comedy For Coats II.

    That's it for now. Buy a ticket (online - it's way cheaper), and I'll see you at the show.
    ]]>     Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:50:00 GMT 38ABBC404EA9F777E34C071D271F413E     February? Already!?!! http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=174078 Where did January go? Wow. And I haven't even gotten into the habit of writing &quot;2010&quot; on checks yet -- maybe because I'm a debit card zombie and all I have to remember is &quot;swipe&quot; and &quot;Password&quot;...take my money, please.&nbsp; Speaking of taking my money - holy shit! The Silvertree Hotel is charging waaaay too much for the room we're using, so unless people start packing the house (like 200+)&nbsp;this series is going dark. Not to threaten. It's just a cold, hard, uncomfortable reality that the last two shows there have cost me and Gail money out of pocket. Something needs to change in the next 3 weeks or we reconsider the remaining 4 shows. Which is a shame, since we're just getting into the groove, and people are spreading the word, and the feedback from patrons has been consistently positive. Why do I keep hearing Ellen Degeneres' voice in my head, singing &quot;Keep on swimming, keep on swimming...&quot;? Maybe&nbsp;it's just growing pains. Still, the business model needs serious rearranging in order to make this a sustainable venture. That said, we have a solid lineup on tap for Feb. 9th, Tuesday&nbsp;at the Cabaret, and another gig 3 days later, on the 12th (Friday) at Steve's Guitars in Carbondale - admittedly my favorite venue. Intimate/funky room, intimate/funky audiences, and always a good energy in the place before and after a show.&nbsp; I hope to get this one on tape as well so I can build a show or two for Grassroots TV. Sponsors! Oh yeah. Sponsors are needed to underwrite the video production and broadcast. If you're interested, drop me a line: <a href="mailto:mark@markthomascomedy.com">mark@markthomascomedy.com.&nbsp; That's all for now. Photos and video and more coming later. It's Sunday night and I still have 5 loads of laundry to do, plus homework, plus dinner, plus news and self-mutilation, plus feed the cat (not mine), and so on and so on.... (* y a w n *)
    Speaking of taking my money - holy shit! The Silvertree Hotel is charging waaaay too much for the room we're using, so unless people start packing the house (like 200+) this series is going dark. Not to threaten. It's just a cold, hard, uncomfortable reality that the last two shows there have cost me and Gail money out of pocket. Something needs to change in the next 3 weeks or we reconsider the remaining 4 shows. Which is a shame, since we're just getting into the groove, and people are spreading the word, and the feedback from patrons has been consistently positive. Why do I keep hearing Ellen Degeneres' voice in my head, singing "Keep on swimming, keep on swimming..."?

    Maybe it's just growing pains. Still, the business model needs serious rearranging in order to make this a sustainable venture. That said, we have a solid lineup on tap for Feb. 9th, Tuesday at the Cabaret, and another gig 3 days later, on the 12th (Friday) at Steve's Guitars in Carbondale - admittedly my favorite venue. Intimate/funky room, intimate/funky audiences, and always a good energy in the place before and after a show.  I hope to get this one on tape as well so I can build a show or two for Grassroots TV.

    Sponsors! Oh yeah. Sponsors are needed to underwrite the video production and broadcast. If you're interested, drop me a line: mark@markthomascomedy.com.  That's all for now. Photos and video and more coming later. It's Sunday night and I still have 5 loads of laundry to do, plus homework, plus dinner, plus news and self-mutilation, plus feed the cat (not mine), and so on and so on.... (* y a w n *)]]>     Mon, 01 Feb 2010 08:05:00 GMT 27EB856B4AE60F52FF10D172F12B64FE     Momentum... http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=170217 Just getting ready to head off to Cabaret Comedy #3 in Snowmass. That's three shows in 6 days, with the first of the bunch being the Stand-Up for Haiti Benefit that was so overwhelmingly gratifying. Last night was a downvalley show in Glenwood Springs at Fin's Grille, a Cheers-like seafood place right near the bridge on Grand AVe. Around 65 patrons, four comics, just over 1-hour show, and a bunch of VERY satisfied and grateful locals. Glenwood is crying for more live comedy, so plans are to get something happening monthly at a good venue down there. X-Games kicks off here in two days, so there are a lot of people and lots of energy in the valley. Whether much of it makes it p to our show tonight remains to be seen. I know Sarasota, Florida will be wellrpresented (THANK YOU SARASOTA SKI CLUB!). Time to close this off and get going. Cheers~!
    X-Games kicks off here in two days, so there are a lot of people and lots of energy in the valley. Whether much of it makes it p to our show tonight remains to be seen. I know Sarasota, Florida will be wellrpresented (THANK YOU SARASOTA SKI CLUB!). Time to close this off and get going. Cheers~!]]>     Wed, 27 Jan 2010 06:47:30 GMT 3DF703211061DA8F04D90AC7B5CA318C     Quick-Response Benefit Raises Over $11,300 for Haiti. http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=169164 QUICK-RESPONSE COMEDY BENEFIT AT THE VICEROY RAISES OVER $11,300 FOR HAITI RELIEF. EFFORTS CONTINUE WITH CELL PHONE COLLECTION CAMPAIGN A standing-room only crowd of over 300 packed the Viceroy ballroom last Thursday, Jan. 21st, to laugh, dance, and contribute to the cause of Haitian earthquake relief.&nbsp; &ldquo;Stand-Up For Haiti&rdquo;, a so-called &ldquo;quick-response benefit&rdquo;, was pulled together a mere 6 days after producers Mark Thomas and Gail Mason of Comedy Mercenary Productions approached Viceroy GM Jeff David with the idea of a benefit comedy show for the benefit of Mercy &amp; Sharing, a local non-profit coordinating Haitian relief efforts. Nine local comedians (including Mayor Mick Ireland), four musicians (H3 and Bobby Mason), a dozen volunteers, dozens more Viceroy staffers, and over 300 attendees gathered for over three hours of live stand-up comedy, a video presentation by <a href="https://www.haitichildren.com/" target="_new">Mercy &amp; Sharing co-founder Joe Krabacher, a live auction, and live music &ndash; all in the name of charity. When the evening was over organizers collected over $11,300, with plans to continue the effort, including a TV special and a used cell-phone collection effort at each of the remaining &ldquo;Comedy at the Cabaret&rdquo; stand-up shows at the Silvertree Hotel this winter season. The next performance is this Tuesday, January 26th. Thomas says key to the event&rsquo;s success was the Viceroy&rsquo;s eagerness to commit hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars in resources for an event to take place quickly. &ldquo;Their generosity and immediate willingness to pitch in was almost overwhelming.&rdquo; Comedy performers that night included Bob Richmond, April Clark, Brooks Werner, Todd Hartley, Gail Mason, Don Chaney, Glenn Smith, Mark Thomas, and Aspen Mayor Mick Ireland, who had his well-received stand-up comedy debut the prior week at &ldquo;Comedy at the Cabaret&rdquo;, a twice-monthly stand-up series that Thomas and Mason produce at the Silvertree Hotel. Before and after the stand-up show, live music was provided courtesy of local favorites Harding, Hills &amp; Hawes <a href="http://h3hardinghillshawes.com/H3/H3_Home.html" target="_new">(H3) with <a href="http://www.bobbymason.com/" target="_new">Bobby Mason, who all volunteered to join the event as soon as they learned it was in the works. In an unusual twist to fundraising tactics, admission was free. Organizers solicited contributions using a variety of methods, including live-auction items, reserved VIP tables, and so-called &ldquo;Karma Jars&rdquo;, which were strategically placed throughout the venue to collect donations. The end result: $11,346 in contributions &ndash; including nearly $6,000 in Karma Jar cash. Local businesses even approached the stage mid-auction with additional goods and services to be auctioned away by Thomas, a certified auctioneer. The four original items planned for auction raised $1,900 dollars. Five spontaneously donated items raised an additional $2,200 &ndash; including a pair of Volkl skis and bindings (jointly donated by Christie Sports and Four Mountain Sports) that sold for $1200. Other auction items included an autographed Lance Armstrong book and a foursome of golf donated by Mayor Mick Ireland, a two-night stay with meals and spa services donated by the Viceroy, two SkiCo lift tickets, a Jazz Aspen Labor Day pass for two, custom orthotics, a scenic plane flight from Polly Ross, and Chili &amp; Brewfest tickets courtesy of the Town of Snowmass Village. Wine for the event was donated by Republic National Distributing, and AV services provided courtesy of Kevin Pasolli and PSAV. Wells Fargo Bank contributed credit card services to collect donations on the spot. TV Aspen donated a videographer and two cameras. And local still photographer Nick Tininenko volunteered his services. Thomas plans to convert the video and stills from the event into a one-hour TV special to air locally and continue the appeal for Haiti Relief funds directed to Mercy &amp; Sharing. Any local businesses interested in sponsoring the special telecast are encouraged to contact Thomas at: <a href="mailto:mark@markthomascomedy.com">mark@markthomascomedy.com, or call 970-618-6897. USED CELL PHONES WORTH MONEY FOR HAITI AND DISCOUNTED COMEDY TICKETS In a continuing effort to help raise funds for Haiti relief, organizers of &ldquo;Comedy at the Cabaret&rdquo; are asking audience members to bring old or unused cell phones to the shows to donate. Anyone bringing a phone to donate will be admitted to the show for just $12, a $7 discount from the door ticket rate of $19. (Those purchasing tickets online at <a href="http://markthomascomedy.com/ticketsstuff.cfm" target="_new">www.markthomascomedy.com for $15 are eligible for a $3 rebate at the door.) Most of the same comics who performed last Thursday will be on hand for this Tuesday's &quot;Comedy at the Cabaret&quot; in the Silvertree Hotel in Snowmass Village. Doors open 7:00 pm, showtime is 7:45. Tickets for that event are available at <a href="http://markthomascomedy.com/ticketsstuff.cfm" target="_new">www.markthomascomedy.com ReCellular, a phone refurbishing firm announced a partnership with the Red Cross to collect old phones to aid in the relief efforts. &ldquo;ReCellular will give 100% of the phone value as a contribution to the American Red Cross. In addition, qualifying phones will be refurbished and supplied to aid groups working in Haiti. All phones are accepted, though newer phones will provide the most value to the charity &mdash; in some cases $100 or more.&rdquo;&nbsp; To prepare your donated phones for recycling and protect personal information, <a href="http://www.recellular.com/recycling/data_eraser/default.asp" target="_new">go to this LINK for instructions. &ldquo;Stand-Up For Haiti&rdquo; was sponsored by <a href="http://www.viceroyhotelsandresorts.com/snowmass/" target="_new">The Viceroy Hotel, the <a href="http://www.aspendailynews.com/" target="_new">Aspen Daily News, <a href="http://www.ksnoradio.net/" target="_new">KSNO Radio, The <a href="http://www.aspensnowmass.com/" target="_new">Aspen Skiing Company and <a href="http://copycopy.biz/glenwoodSprings/" target="_new">Copy Copy in Glenwood Springs, and was produced by Comedy Mercenary Productions. For more information, contact: Mark Thomas at 970-618-6897 Gail Mason at 970-319-8387 or e-mail <a href="mailto:cabaretcomedy@gmail.com">cabaretcomedy@gmail.com. QUICK-RESPONSE COMEDY BENEFIT AT THE VICEROY
    RAISES OVER $11,300 FOR HAITI RELIEF.
    EFFORTS CONTINUE WITH CELL PHONE COLLECTION CAMPAIGN
    A standing-room only crowd of over 300 packed the Viceroy ballroom last Thursday, Jan. 21st, to laugh, dance, and contribute to the cause of Haitian earthquake relief. 

    “Stand-Up For Haiti”    , a so-called “quick-response benefit”, was pulled together a mere 6 days after producers Mark Thomas and Gail Mason of Comedy Mercenary Productions approached Viceroy GM Jeff David with the idea of a benefit comedy show for the benefit of Mercy & Sharing, a local non-profit coordinating Haitian relief efforts.

    Nine local comedians (including Mayor Mick Ireland), four musicians (H3 and Bobby Mason), a dozen volunteers, dozens more Viceroy staffers, and over 300 attendees gathered for over three hours of live stand-up comedy, a video presentation by Mercy & Sharing co-founder Joe Krabacher, a live auction, and live music – all in the name of charity. When the evening was over organizers collected over $11,300, with plans to continue the effort, including a TV special and a used cell-phone collection effort at each of the remaining “Comedy at the Cabaret” stand-up shows at the Silvertree Hotel this winter season. The next performance is this Tuesday, January 26th.

    Thomas says key to the event’s success was the Viceroy’s eagerness to commit hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars in resources for an event to take place quickly. “Their generosity and immediate willingness to pitch in was almost overwhelming.”

    Comedy performers that night included Bob Richmond, April Clark, Brooks Werner, Todd Hartley, Gail Mason, Don Chaney, Glenn Smith, Mark Thomas, and Aspen Mayor Mick Ireland, who had his well-received stand-up comedy debut the prior week at “Comedy at the Cabaret”, a twice-monthly stand-up series that Thomas and Mason produce at the Silvertree Hotel.

    Before and after the stand-up show, live music was provided courtesy of local favorites Harding, Hills & Hawes (H3) with Bobby Mason, who all volunteered to join the event as soon as they learned it was in the works.

    In an unusual twist to fundraising tactics, admission was free. Organizers solicited contributions using a variety of methods, including live-auction items, reserved VIP tables, and so-called “Karma Jars”, which were strategically placed throughout the venue to collect donations. The end result: $11,346 in contributions – including nearly $6,000 in Karma Jar cash.

    Local businesses even approached the stage mid-auction with additional goods and services to be auctioned away by Thomas, a certified auctioneer. The four original items planned for auction raised $1,900 dollars. Five spontaneously donated items raised an additional $2,200 – including a pair of Volkl skis and bindings (jointly donated by Christie Sports and Four Mountain Sports) that sold for $1200. Other auction items included an autographed Lance Armstrong book and a foursome of golf donated by Mayor Mick Ireland, a two-night stay with meals and spa services donated by the Viceroy, two SkiCo lift tickets, a Jazz Aspen Labor Day pass for two, custom orthotics, a scenic plane flight from Polly Ross, and Chili & Brewfest tickets courtesy of the Town of Snowmass Village.

    Wine for the event was donated by Republic National Distributing, and AV services provided courtesy of Kevin Pasolli and PSAV. Wells Fargo Bank contributed credit card services to collect donations on the spot. TV Aspen donated a videographer and two cameras. And local still photographer Nick Tininenko volunteered his services.

    Thomas plans to convert the video and stills from the event into a one-hour TV special to air locally and continue the appeal for Haiti Relief funds directed to Mercy & Sharing. Any local businesses interested in sponsoring the special telecast are encouraged to contact Thomas at: mark@markthomascomedy.com, or call 970-618-6897.

    USED CELL PHONES WORTH MONEY FOR HAITI
    AND DISCOUNTED COMEDY TICKETS
    In a continuing effort to help raise funds for Haiti relief, organizers of “Comedy at the Cabaret” are asking audience members to bring old or unused cell phones to the shows to donate. Anyone bringing a phone to donate will be admitted to the show for just $12, a $7 discount from the door ticket rate of $19. (Those purchasing tickets online at www.markthomascomedy.com for $15 are eligible for a $3 rebate at the door.) Most of the same comics who performed last Thursday will be on hand for this Tuesday's "Comedy at the Cabaret" in the Silvertree Hotel in Snowmass Village. Doors open 7:00 pm, showtime is 7:45. Tickets for that event are available at www.markthomascomedy.com

    ReCellular, a phone refurbishing firm announced a partnership with the Red Cross to collect old phones to aid in the relief efforts. “ReCellular will give 100% of the phone value as a contribution to the American Red Cross. In addition, qualifying phones will be refurbished and supplied to aid groups working in Haiti. All phones are accepted, though newer phones will provide the most value to the charity — in some cases $100 or more.”  To prepare your donated phones for recycling and protect personal information, go to this LINK for instructions.

    “Stand-Up For Haiti” was sponsored by The Viceroy Hotel, the Aspen Daily News, KSNO Radio, The Aspen Skiing Company and Copy Copy in Glenwood Springs, and was produced by Comedy Mercenary Productions.
    For more information, contact:
    Mark Thomas at 970-618-6897
    Gail Mason at 970-319-8387
    or e-mail cabaretcomedy@gmail.com.


    ]]>     Tue, 26 Jan 2010 00:48:05 GMT DEEE4CC0E4395C95FD68E4FEC1562E7C     Stand-Up for Haiti at the Viceroy - TONIGHT! http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=166442 It's been a whirlwnd, roller-coaster week, to say the least. Trying to plan a benefit in just 6 days has been an interesting challenge. Tonight's turnout will tell whether or not our efforts are successful.&nbsp; The press release is posted on my home page, so I won't repeat any of it. If you're headed out that way tonight, and not using public transportation, park in the covered parking at the new Base Village parking structure. It's free after 5 PM. Otherwise, Lot C up Wood Road a ways will do - and it's a bit of a shorter walk to the Viceroy. (*Snow is&nbsp;in the forecast for tonight, and Lot C is uncovered, so be forewarned.) Besides the excitement of pulling together this benefit, we had our Comedy at the Cabaret aired last last night on Grassroots TV Channel 12. One hour, 6 comics, and one Mayor (Mick). All in all not a bad effort considering the lead-time, the limited access to post-production facilities, and the fact that I had to wedge editing in between benefit-organizing chores. Mark needs a rest! Check out the video online here:&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://vod.grassrootstv.org/vodcontent/8780.wmv">http://vod.grassrootstv.org/vodcontent/8780.wmv Heading out the door for final details. If you're in the neighborhood, come to the show. Fun and Fundraising for Haiti. It'll be good.
    Besides the excitement of pulling together this benefit, we had our Comedy at the Cabaret aired last last night on Grassroots TV Channel 12. One hour, 6 comics, and one Mayor (Mick). All in all not a bad effort considering the lead-time, the limited access to post-production facilities, and the fact that I had to wedge editing in between benefit-organizing chores. Mark needs a rest! Check out the video online here:  http://vod.grassrootstv.org/vodcontent/8780.wmv

    Heading out the door for final details. If you're in the neighborhood, come to the show. Fun and Fundraising for Haiti. It'll be good.]]>     Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:35:05 GMT 0F8C846BDEB71C3A7F6D0D3FCFEB3705     Benefit for Haiti in Snowmass this Thursday... http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=162959 Not much time, but I wanted to post this ASAP. I'm working with Gail Mason to put together a comedy benefit concert for victims of the Haiti earthquake. The Viceroy Hotel in Snowmass gave us an immediate Green Light after a 3-minute presentation on Friday morning - so now it's scramble time. The event is called: STAND-UP FOR HAITI, a benefit comedy concert for earthquake victims. All proceeds will go <a href="http://www.haitichildren.com/" target="_new">Mercy &amp; Sharing, a local non-profit focused on helping Haitian orphans. Lots of details to work out, so more info will be posted here and on my FB page later. If you're in the RF Valley you should come by. Admission is Free - but we'll charge you to leave. (*You decide what your night was worth.) More to come....
    The event is called: STAND-UP FOR HAITI, a benefit comedy concert for earthquake victims. All proceeds will go Mercy & Sharing, a local non-profit focused on helping Haitian orphans. Lots of details to work out, so more info will be posted here and on my FB page later. If you're in the RF Valley you should come by. Admission is Free - but we'll charge you to leave. (*You decide what your night was worth.)

    More to come....
    ]]>     Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:05:14 GMT 70239B388AEE31D21AAC119073E5F4F8     Post comedy wrap-up: It's all good (mostly) http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=161600 Today is Thursday. Tuesday night seems like a week ago, but I still have a good buzz going from the night of comedy. For the record - putting together these shows has been a labor of love, and a LABOR. So many details to handle, all coming at me in a mini-tsunami at the last minute, and there never seems to be enough time to truly relax, take off my Producer/Promoter hat and put on my Comedian hat before a show. Granted, it's only the second of an 8-show series, and there are still kinks to be worked out. But somehow I thought I would have the ducks lined up better and have at least a few days to work on The Set. Not the case. My set was written in two 1-hour bursts: The first at eleven PM on Monday night, the second at 4 PM the day of the show. I know, I know -- not very professional of me as a performer. I promised myself I'd make the set 90% new material - and I almost succeeded. But I know there's always room for improvement.&nbsp; I guess it boils down in large degree to becomeing a better manager of my own time. But the night was not about me - it was about the comedy, from EVERYONE. And when it was over it felt like one of the3 top 5 shows I'd been involved in during my 3 short years as a stand-up. You know how a room developes an energy, a personality? This room had one from the get-go: upbeat, positive, ready to laugh and participate. The performers sensed it, and form the opening line it felt like a mutual acknolwedgement. <a href="http://dansheridan.com/" target="_new">Dan Sheridan opened the night with 4 songs, including his now-infamous <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2jZQRzKuI0" target="_new">&quot;Big Money&quot;. The Aspen Skiing Company had some problems with the song <a href="http://dansheridan.com/Dan_Sheridan_Times1.html">(details here), Now Dan is getting calls from <a href="http://cbs4denver.com/entertainment/big.money.sheridan.2.1424913.html">Denver TV stations for interviews and is even selling a few CD's thanks to the dubious noteriety the SkiCo afforded him. Dan wqrmed up the crowd and left them smiling for the 7 comics (well - 6 comics and 1 Aspen Mayor) to follow. We slotted Mayor Mick Ireland into the middle of the show, and he did surprisingly well for a first-timer to the stand-up stage. Of course, as a producer I learned that when you give a politician a 3-5 minute time slot, you'd better be on the stopwatch and the flashing-red STOP sign, otherwise he'll go until he runs out of air. That took Mick about 17 minutes. To his cerdit, the crowd kept laughing, no one threw rotten fruit, and even one of his harshest critics (Marilyn Marks) who was in the audience gave his positive reviews when the night was over. The rest of the crew stood and delivered solid sets: Don Chaney, Beth Brandon, April Clark, Todd Hartley, and my co-producer and stand-up neophyte, GailMason, who - I must say - delivered her best set yet. Confidence and poise grows with each appearance, and I have to take my hat off and say &quot;Well Done, Gail&quot;. Best of all, we have the whole show on video and I'm working on editing it down to a tight one-hour program that will air on Grassroots TV channel 12 next Wednesday. You'll be able to stream it online after the broadcast, so I'll be posting that link here as soon as it's available. As for fine-tuning: Tighter sets and a stopwatch system for the next show are top of my list. Also, we'll be inviting a few New Faces onto the stage, to keep it fresh, edgy, unpredictable and decidedly Local - something this Valley prides itself on delivering, good or bad, on a regular basis. Interested? Drop me a note: <a href="./contactme.cfm" target="_new">mark@markthomascomedy.com God Bless Messy Vitality.

    My set was written in two 1-hour bursts: The first at eleven PM on Monday night, the second at 4 PM the day of the show. I know, I know -- not very professional of me as a performer. I promised myself I'd make the set 90% new material - and I almost succeeded. But I know there's always room for improvement.  I guess it boils down in large degree to becomeing a better manager of my own time.

    But the night was not about me - it was about the comedy, from EVERYONE. And when it was over it felt like one of the3 top 5 shows I'd been involved in during my 3 short years as a stand-up. You know how a room developes an energy, a personality? This room had one from the get-go: upbeat, positive, ready to laugh and participate. The performers sensed it, and form the opening line it felt like a mutual acknolwedgement.

    Dan Sheridan opened the night with 4 songs, including his now-infamous "Big Money". The Aspen Skiing Company had some problems with the song (details here), Now Dan is getting calls from Denver TV stations for interviews and is even selling a few CD's thanks to the dubious noteriety the SkiCo afforded him. Dan wqrmed up the crowd and left them smiling for the 7 comics (well - 6 comics and 1 Aspen Mayor) to follow.

    We slotted Mayor Mick Ireland into the middle of the show, and he did surprisingly well for a first-timer to the stand-up stage. Of course, as a producer I learned that when you give a politician a 3-5 minute time slot, you'd better be on the stopwatch and the flashing-red STOP sign, otherwise he'll go until he runs out of air. That took Mick about 17 minutes. To his cerdit, the crowd kept laughing, no one threw rotten fruit, and even one of his harshest critics (Marilyn Marks) who was in the audience gave his positive reviews when the night was over.

    The rest of the crew stood and delivered solid sets: Don Chaney, Beth Brandon, April Clark, Todd Hartley, and my co-producer and stand-up neophyte, GailMason, who - I must say - delivered her best set yet. Confidence and poise grows with each appearance, and I have to take my hat off and say "Well Done, Gail".

    Best of all, we have the whole show on video and I'm working on editing it down to a tight one-hour program that will air on Grassroots TV channel 12 next Wednesday. You'll be able to stream it online after the broadcast, so I'll be posting that link here as soon as it's available.

    As for fine-tuning: Tighter sets and a stopwatch system for the next show are top of my list. Also, we'll be inviting a few New Faces onto the stage, to keep it fresh, edgy, unpredictable and decidedly Local - something this Valley prides itself on delivering, good or bad, on a regular basis. Interested? Drop me a note: mark@markthomascomedy.com

    God Bless Messy Vitality.
    ]]>     Fri, 15 Jan 2010 06:05:14 GMT F2C3FC068B0553751C0542BB5C6AA217     Signs, signs, everywhere signs... http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=158752 I believe in signs. Don't always recognize them, but always on the lookout. Maybe it's my excuse for expecting the Universe to have more control over my destiny than I do, and wanting to send me little clues &amp; hints (the Universe LOVES scavenger hunts!). Today had some positive signs. Mayor Mick on the front page of the <a href="http://www.aspendailynews.com/">Aspen Daily News as a sidebar story, promoting the fact that he's making his stand-up comedy debut at the show tomorrow (Tuesday, Jan 12th). Finding 3 consecutive parking spaces in 6 hours - on the SAME street - in a 2-hour parking zone, AND moving my car in time EACH time. Driving behind a <a href="http://www.harlemglobetrotters.com/">Harlem Globetrotters tour bus between Glenwood Springs and Carbondale (the epitome of pure fun - a Globetrotter's game!). And getting my first online ticket order for the comedy series (THANK YOU LEONARD FORMAN FROM BOCA RATON!). It's a sunny day, and tomorrow will feel like March spring weather with highs in the 40's. My new mic and speaker cable arrived in time for the show. Dan Sheridan (he of <a target="_new" href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.youtube.com%252Fwatch%253Fv%253Dx2jZQRzKuI0&amp;h=338d6416da6aeedb86c4c7b3ddbff28c&amp;ref=mf">&quot;Big Money Ruins Everything&quot; fame in Aspen), has agreed to open the program with 4 songs. And Mayor Mick's rehearsal went smoothly last night. So far the planets are lining up for a nice time tomorrow. Hope you can make it.
    Maybe it's my excuse for expecting the Universe to have more control over my destiny than I do, and wanting to send me little clues & hints (the Universe LOVES scavenger hunts!).

    Today had some positive signs. Mayor Mick on the front page of the Aspen Daily News as a sidebar story, promoting the fact that he's making his stand-up comedy debut at the show tomorrow (Tuesday, Jan 12th).

    Finding 3 consecutive parking spaces in 6 hours - on the SAME street - in a 2-hour parking zone, AND moving my car in time EACH time. Driving behind a Harlem Globetrotters tour bus between Glenwood Springs and Carbondale (the epitome of pure fun - a Globetrotter's game!). And getting my first online ticket order for the comedy series (THANK YOU LEONARD FORMAN FROM BOCA RATON!). It's a sunny day, and tomorrow will feel like March spring weather with highs in the 40's. My new mic and speaker cable arrived in time for the show.

    Dan Sheridan (he of "Big Money Ruins Everything" fame in Aspen), has agreed to open the program with 4 songs. And Mayor Mick's rehearsal went smoothly last night. So far the planets are lining up for a nice time tomorrow. Hope you can make it.
    ]]>     Tue, 12 Jan 2010 05:40:00 GMT D084131149F169E3C71C23B2AAF0FB01     2010, Two Thousand Ten, Twenty-Ten, Too OH Won OH! ...whatever... http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=155580 I sense a lingering holiday malaise in the valley. An sugar hangover. A disturbance in the Force.&nbsp; I thing everyone WANTS to get their lives back to &quot;normal&quot;, but we're all having a little trouble exactly finding the groove. And it's not just here in the mountains of Western Colorado. A sampling of my Facebook Friends indicates the same: &quot;Firing on one cylinder&quot;. &quot;Can't get going with my day.&quot; &quot;Tried to kick the cat and missed - again.&quot; That kind of thing. I'm with ya. I shuffled through Monday. Tried to ramp it up Tuesday with tea. coffee, 5-Hour Energy Drink (2 of 'em!), and much multi-tasking (fooling myself into thinking I was getting a lot done if I tried to do it all at the same time - you've tried it. ). Continued into Wednesday as I worked past 9 PM getting posters printed for the Jan. 12th comedy show. Then the Universe told me to &quot;Slow Down, Mark!&quot;. Actually, it was an asshole Glenwood Springs patrol cop with a tiny porn mustache and a power-trip attitude. He smelled like Hai Karate aftershave and corn dogs, and insisted I was doing 20 over the posted 35 MPH speed limit. I won't argue my case here, except to say I now have a new purpose in life.&nbsp; Vindication. So - being that it's already after 1:30 on a Thursday and I still have to drive to Aspen and put up posters, I'd better cut this short with a closing mantra of some kind. B R E A T H E&nbsp; &nbsp; D E E P L Y.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; S M I L E&nbsp; B R O A D L Y.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; Drink lots of water and find the dark chocolate left over from Christmas. Gotta find the groove, listen for the Muse, and start writing a new set for next Tuesday. I know it's out there. I just have to roll down the window and breathe it in. Cheers ~ Mark T.
    And it's not just here in the mountains of Western Colorado. A sampling of my Facebook Friends indicates the same:
    "Firing on one cylinder".
    "Can't get going with my day."
    "Tried to kick the cat and missed - again."     That kind of thing.

    I'm with ya. I shuffled through Monday. Tried to ramp it up Tuesday with tea. coffee, 5-Hour Energy Drink (2 of 'em!), and much multi-tasking (fooling myself into thinking I was getting a lot done if I tried to do it all at the same time - you've tried it. ). Continued into Wednesday as I worked past 9 PM getting posters printed for the Jan. 12th comedy show.

    Then the Universe told me to "Slow Down, Mark!". Actually, it was an asshole Glenwood Springs patrol cop with a tiny porn mustache and a power-trip attitude. He smelled like Hai Karate aftershave and corn dogs, and insisted I was doing 20 over the posted 35 MPH speed limit. I won't argue my case here, except to say I now have a new purpose in life.  Vindication.

    So - being that it's already after 1:30 on a Thursday and I still have to drive to Aspen and put up posters, I'd better cut this short with a closing mantra of some kind.
    B R E A T H E    D E E P L Y.    
    S M I L E  B R O A D L Y.      
     
    Drink lots of water and find the dark chocolate left over from Christmas. Gotta find the groove, listen for the Muse, and start writing a new set for next Tuesday. I know it's out there. I just have to roll down the window and breathe it in.

    Cheers ~
    Mark T.
    ]]>     Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:35:00 GMT F5C18149D3A034CE5274F0541C81E54B     Comedy the the Cabaret - all winter in Snowmass Village http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=153230 While I try to figure out how to get this site up to speed, I'm just going to hack away and try and get the important information up front. Like information about the new winter comedy series I'm helping to produce in the Aspen/Snowmass area. It's called COMEDY AT THE CABARET, 73-minutes of Live, Local Stand-Up. It takes place in the Cabaret Room at the Silvertree Hotel, right on the slopes at the Snowmass Ski Area (15 minutes from Aspen, CO). My co-producer, Gail Mason, and I cooked up this idea last fall when we were sniffing around for a suitable venue for live, local comedy. When we saw the Cabaret Room we knew we were on to something. It seats just over 200 in a comfortable, 3-tier, semi-circular arrangement facing a comfy stage with professional lighting and nice acoustics. They have been host to many, many jazz greats o0ver the years, but in the past few years the room has kind of faded into the background. Consequently, many locals aren&rsquo;t' even aware of its existence. Well, we're setting out to change that this winter. We booked the room for eight shows, from December 29th through April 1st. Every other week we'll bring 6 to 8 local comics on stage for a night of live, local stand-up. It's affordable ($15 advance/ $19 door), early enough for hard-core, early-rising skiers (7:45 show time), and damned entertaining, if I say so myself. Oh - and there's a cash bar. Important for live comedy. I'll be adding more information here in the next week or so. I just put ticket sales here on the site, so if you're a local and want to check it out, or planning a visit to Aspen/Snowmass this winter, head over to the TICKETS tab and reserve your seats. I'll post samples as soon as I can. Or you can write to me and ask questions. I'll do deals with groups over 20 in size, or even arrange for special private shows if your group is here during a period when we don't have a show booked. We're flexible. We're comics. Our objective is laughter. What's yours? While I try to figure out how to get this site up to speed, I'm just going to hack away and try and get the important information up front. Like information about the new winter comedy series I'm helping to produce in the Aspen/Snowmass area.

    It's called COMEDY AT THE CABARET, 73-minutes of Live, Local Stand-Up. It takes place in the Cabaret Room at the Silvertree Hotel, right on the slopes at the Snowmass Ski Area (15 minutes from Aspen, CO). My co-producer, Gail Mason, and I cooked up this idea last fall when we were sniffing around for a suitable venue for live, local comedy. When we saw the Cabaret Room we knew we were on to something. It seats just over 200 in a comfortable, 3-tier, semi-circular arrangement facing a comfy stage with professional lighting and nice acoustics. They have been host to many, many jazz greats o0ver the years, but in the past few years the room has kind of faded into the background. Consequently, many locals aren’t' even aware of its existence. Well, we're setting out to change that this winter.

    We booked the room for eight shows, from December 29th through April 1st. Every other week we'll bring 6 to 8 local comics on stage for a night of live, local stand-up. It's affordable ($15 advance/ $19 door), early enough for hard-core, early-rising skiers (7:45 show time), and damned entertaining, if I say so myself. Oh - and there's a cash bar. Important for live comedy.

    I'll be adding more information here in the next week or so. I just put ticket sales here on the site, so if you're a local and want to check it out, or planning a visit to Aspen/Snowmass this winter, head over to the TICKETS tab and reserve your seats. I'll post samples as soon as I can. Or you can write to me and ask questions. I'll do deals with groups over 20 in size, or even arrange for special private shows if your group is here during a period when we don't have a show booked. We're flexible. We're comics. Our objective is laughter. What's yours?
    ]]>     Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:52:26 GMT 29848C9961EE6A4BD7EADC441154871C     SLACKER! Yeah - me... http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=92404 (...in the shape of an &quot;L&quot; on my forehead...). I could blame ADD, a busy summer, inattention to personal website details, or Facebook. Instead, I'll just blame Facebook, which makes it easier for me to post day-to-day inanities and get IMMEDIATE feedback. And isnt' that what we impatient children of the TV generation really need &amp; want? OK. Done with apologies -- to whom, I don't know, since no one really visits here. So I suppose I can rant and ramble with more impunity that I would on FB.&nbsp; On to more present things, like a look back at the summer: BUSY! Produced 5 stand-up shows between May 30 and Sept 25 (3 at Steve's Guitars, 2 at the ZG Grill in Aspen), performed in A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM for Aspen Shakespeare In The Park, and attended auctioneer's college to get certified as a bilingual auctioneer. &quot;But, Mark, what does auctioneering have to do with comedy?&quot;. Thanks for asking.&nbsp; The idea is to work with non-profits on their annual fundraising events by serving as an MC, Auctioneer, and/or comedy producer &amp; talent. Of the three, the auctioneer role is the only one that will acutally pay for itself, if done right. This is the plan. Lots to do before it takes off, but the hard part is over. Auction school was 9 days, 14-15 hours a day. Learned a lot, and got linked in to a great support network of experienced professionals. Now I'm on my own to organize, outreach, and get auction gigs. Next stop: California! Taking a 2-week road trip to cruise the entire coast, south-to-north, and catch a bit of last minute Indian Summer before winter settles in here in the western slope of Colorado.&nbsp; Hope to come back refreshed, and with a notebook full of raw ideas for new material. Will try to post some material here before I leave Wednesday. If anyone is out there (&quot;...there...there...there...echo...echo...echo...), feel free to find me on FB and befriend me. (...in the shape of an "L" on my forehead...).
    I could blame ADD, a busy summer, inattention to personal website details, or Facebook. Instead, I'll just blame Facebook, which makes it easier for me to post day-to-day inanities and get IMMEDIATE feedback. And isnt' that what we impatient children of the TV generation really need & want?

    OK. Done with apologies -- to whom, I don't know, since no one really visits here. So I suppose I can rant and ramble with more impunity that I would on FB.  On to more present things, like a look back at the summer:

    BUSY! Produced 5 stand-up shows between May 30 and Sept 25 (3 at Steve's Guitars, 2 at the ZG Grill in Aspen), performed in A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM for Aspen Shakespeare In The Park, and attended auctioneer's college to get certified as a bilingual auctioneer.
    "But, Mark, what does auctioneering have to do with comedy?".
    Thanks for asking.  The idea is to work with non-profits on their annual fundraising events by serving as an MC, Auctioneer, and/or comedy producer & talent. Of the three, the auctioneer role is the only one that will acutally pay for itself, if done right. This is the plan. Lots to do before it takes off, but the hard part is over. Auction school was 9 days, 14-15 hours a day. Learned a lot, and got linked in to a great support network of experienced professionals. Now I'm on my own to organize, outreach, and get auction gigs.

    Next stop: California! Taking a 2-week road trip to cruise the entire coast, south-to-north, and catch a bit of last minute Indian Summer before winter settles in here in the western slope of Colorado.  Hope to come back refreshed, and with a notebook full of raw ideas for new material. Will try to post some material here before I leave Wednesday. If anyone is out there ("...there...there...there...echo...echo...echo...), feel free to find me on FB and befriend me.
    ]]>     Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:30:00 GMT 81A115DB0A7D2A4586AC504C865F1AFE     Dateline Aspen: 4/1/2009 http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=38264 Headlines from the Aspen Timely News: CSI-ASPEN A coalition of Aspen non-profits and government agencies have teamed up to address three of Aspen's top problems through something they're calling &quot;Creative Solution Initiative&quot;, or CSI Aspen. PitCo Communications Officer, Pat Bingham, says CSI Aspen is poised to solve the problems of the Downtown Mall fire-pit, out of control dog-droppings on Smuggler Trail, and promotion of the new Aspen Art Museum project. Bingham says early next month, the parks department will erect a 9-foot tall Lucite cylinder at the base of the popular Smuggler hiking trail. The tube will be filled with dog droppings left behind on Smuggler trail by arrogant dog-owners Bingham calls &quot;too high-falutin' to pick up Sparky's calling cards&quot;. County dung engineers estimate the cylindar will fill up at least twice a week, creating enough potent methane to power the controversial downtown fire-pit with home-made, canine natural gas. They plan to rename the new firepit &quot;The Fido-Flame&quot;. As for the Art Museum connection, Bingham explained that the very public display of animal waste in the gigantic lucite tube will certainly elicit strenuous public reaction, most of it negative - &quot;And isn't that the very essence of public art?&quot;, she said. &quot;Some will call it political sculpture. Others will just call it shit. And the last time I checked - that pretty much sums up art. &quot; # # # TRAFFIC DRONES Iraq-war technology is coming to the Roaring Fork Valley - and this time the insurgents are single drivers in the carpool lane. The Colorado Highway Patrol has announced it will deploy remote-control US Army drones to monitor traffic along busy Highway 82 to ensure traffic scofflaws aren't sneaking into the HOV lane during busy commute hours. The drones will be equipped with GPS, high-def video cameras, radar monitors and mini-rocket launchers to target mainly construction vehicles speeding through the tricky Snowmass Canyon curves. CHP officers plan to set up their remote monitoring station in the back of the Woody Creek Tavern. # # # ROUNDABOUT 500 In other traffic news -- the afternoon commute out of Aspen was hopelessly snarled for two hours when a ski group from Atlanta, Georgia got stuck in the Roundabout while exiting town yesterday, and wound up circling the traffic structure a full 500 times. The leader of the 12-car caravan, Jim-Bob Robert, claims he was temporarily ovecome when he spotted former racing great Janet Guthrie driving through the S-curves, and believed he was competing in a mini-Aspen version of a NASCAR event. And in a related story: The Aspen Chamber Resort Association has announced the debut of the &quot;Ute City 500&quot;, a mini-NASCAR race to be held in the highway 82 roundabout in an effort to attract a &quot;broader demographic of tourists&quot; to the upper Roaring Fork Valley. ACRA says they already have two dozen eager sponsors lined up. Out-of-work architects are completing designs for bleachers around the circular traffic island, with concession tents planned for the center. As usual, volunteers are needed for this exciting, first-ever &quot;Ute City 500&quot;, set to cross the finish line this June 31st. Contact ACRA for details at 925-RACE. # # # THE ASPEN FESTIVAL FESTIVAL: In an effort to completely eliminate the off-season, the Aspen Chamber Resort Association is teaming up with local festival organizers to create what they're calling &quot;The Mac-Daddy of All Festivals - the Aspen Festival Festival, to be held from April 20th through June 1st. Festival coordinator Vanessa Whitberg-Champion-DeGault says the 5-week event will be &quot;...an orgy of festivals&quot;, comprising elements of the Music Festival, Food &amp; Wine Festival, Ideas Fest, Jazz Festival, Chili &amp; Brewfest, Filmfest, ShortsFest, Comedy Festival, Arts Festival, Chocolate Classic, Balloon Festival, Aspen Air show, Fat Tire Mountain Bike Festival, and Ducky Derby. When asked about the absence of Winterskol from the Festival Festival, Miss Whitberg-Champion-DeGault commented, &quot;Nobody goes to Winterskol any more. Besides - it doesn't even have the word &quot;Festival&quot; in it's name!&quot;. The First Aspen Festival Festival is being sponsored by Red Bull, Viagra and Depends Adult Undergarments. To reserve tent space, contact the ACRA, or log on to www.aspenfestivalfestival.com. # # # DOGG E. BAGG'S: Fearing for their image as a 5-star resort, Aspen City Officials have cancelled their plans to open Aspen's first-ever Food Bank, saying it sends a negative message that there are actually hungry people in Aspen. Instead, the city has signed a lease for the restaurant space formerly occupied by Zele Cafe, with plans to open a consiignment restaurant called, Dogg E. Bagg's Fine Consignment Dining. Local restaurant patrons will be able to drop off their leftovers for sale the next day to hungry diners who just want a nibble, like half a spring roll or three pieces of sushi, part of a pork chop, or half a dozen curly fries. Aspen's Chief Nutrition Officer, Debbie Cakes, explains that over 80 percent of the food most people take home from restaurants is either thrown away or fed to the dog, so it only makes sense to pre-cycle these tasty calories to the less fortunate. And certain dishes - like lasagna and meat loaf, always taste better the next day anyway. Dogg E. Bagg's will open for business on June 31st, 2009. # # # COMPUTER SCARE: Computer-users around the world have been fearing for their data ever since the CONFICKER computer virus raised it ugly cyber-head last October. Today was the date that CONFICKER was programmed to potentially take down millions of infected computers with its devious virus. When the witching hour arrived at midnight last night, however, computer security experts were relieved to learn that the virus was a relatively harmless prank, which merely infected the files of anyone with a Facebook page, changing their Profile Picture to a picture of a boy with a frog in his mouth. Facebook officials were unfazed, saying that the picture of the boy with a frog in his mouth was an improvement in most cases. The SPCA voiced objections to the statement by Facebook, saying frogs deserve better treatment. When reached for comment, the boy with the frog in his mouth said, &quot;It really does taste like chicken. I was surprised!&quot; # # # RAPTURE REHEARSAL Mark your calendar for December 21, 2012 -- that's the day the world will come to an end, according to the Mayan Calendar and the latest popular predictions. And a group calling itself The Rocky Mountain Rapture Rangers says they want to be prepared for the big day, so they're planning on holding monthly Rapture Rehearsals at Wagner Park in downtown Aspen. City officials have concerns, though, that the monthly gatherings will cause too much disruption to Aspen's &quot;business as usual&quot;, especially when they learned that the Rapture Rangers plan to hold their events in the nude. The city says public decency laws prohibit this kind of in-the-buff gathering. The Rangers cite biblical precedent, claiming that when the &quot;SAVED&quot; are &quot;TAKEN UP&quot;, their clothes will be left behind, and they are only aiming for biblical accuracy during their nude rapture rehearsals. City officials are meeting with church leaders to consider the special use application. The first Rapture Rehearsal will be held on April 12th at noon in Wagner Park. Organizers are directing the chosen few to gather in the middle of the park between 11:30 and noon. Bleachers will be set up on the sidelines for sinners. And the Aspen Thrift Store says they will be on hand to collect any leftover clothing to raise money for their new store - which, oddly enough, is scheduled to open on December 21st, 2012. # # # GOOGLE-TWITTER The Aspen Ski Patrol arrested a San Francisco man as he exited the Silver Queen Gondola after his fellow gondola passengers telephoned the top of the mountain to complain that the fellow was - quote -&nbsp; &quot;Googling his Twitter&quot; right there in the gondola cabin. Ski Patrol planned to press obscenity charges against the man, but later dropped the charges when they learned that &quot;Googling your Twitter&quot; means something entirely different in the big city than it does among members of the Aspen Ski Patrol crew. # # # HONEYMOON GONDOLA CABINS In a related story: The Aspen Skiing Company will be outfitting special &quot;Mini-Honeymoon&quot; cabins on the Silver Queen&nbsp; Gondola with cots, blackout curtains and mirrored ceilings for what they're calling &quot;The Romance Ride&quot; adventure this summer. They're hoping to increase summer ridership and boost revenues. The &quot;Honeymoon Cabins&quot; will rent for $250 per couple/per ride - with a maximum of two couples allowed on any single cabin. For an extra $500 ASC will slow the gondola down to lengthen the trip time from a brisk 16 minutes to a leisurely 35 minutes, bottom to top. In keeping with their healthy-lifestyle reputation, SkiCo rep Jeff Hanle says smoking will NOT be allowed in the new cabins. Call SkiCo at 925-1220 for details and reservations. # # # In other local news: &bull; Two stupid people were arrested for doing idiotic things in a public place. &bull; One rich dude sued another rich dude, who counter-sued the first rich dude over a land deal gone bad. &bull; A group of people wrote letters to the editor complaining about someone else's letter to the editor. And Emzy Veazy III wrote an editorial about it. &bull; A guy called another guy a name at a public meeting. &bull; A non-profit is asking for money. &bull; A dog was lost. &bull; Another dog was found. &bull; A man stole a watch. &bull; A girl wrote a book. &bull; A business closed. &bull; A car crashed. &bull; A band played. &bull; A singer sang. &bull; Paint dried. &bull; Grass grew. &bull; Glen Beck shed another tear. &bull; Everything's on sale. &bull; And the weather service says it might snow tomorrow - or not. And that's all the news YOU need to know, ripped straight from the pages of the ASPEN TIMELY NEWS. And if you don't believe me, who CAN you believe? Headlines from the Aspen Timely News:

    CSI-ASPEN
    A coalition of Aspen non-profits and government agencies have teamed up to address three of Aspen's top problems through something they're calling "Creative Solution Initiative", or CSI Aspen.

    PitCo Communications Officer, Pat Bingham, says CSI Aspen is poised to solve the problems of the Downtown Mall fire-pit, out of control dog-droppings on Smuggler Trail, and promotion of the new Aspen Art Museum project.

    Bingham says early next month, the parks department will erect a 9-foot tall Lucite cylinder at the base of the popular Smuggler hiking trail. The tube will be filled with dog droppings left behind on Smuggler trail by arrogant dog-owners Bingham calls "too high-falutin' to pick up Sparky's calling cards". County dung engineers estimate the cylindar will fill up at least twice a week, creating enough potent methane to power the controversial downtown fire-pit with home-made, canine natural gas. They plan to rename the new firepit "The Fido-Flame".

    As for the Art Museum connection, Bingham explained that the very public display of animal waste in the gigantic lucite tube will certainly elicit strenuous public reaction, most of it negative - "And isn't that the very essence of public art?", she said. "Some will call it political sculpture. Others will just call it shit. And the last time I checked - that pretty much sums up art. "
    # # #
    TRAFFIC DRONES
    Iraq-war technology is coming to the Roaring Fork Valley - and this time the insurgents are single drivers in the carpool lane. The Colorado Highway Patrol has announced it will deploy remote-control US Army drones to monitor traffic along busy Highway 82 to ensure traffic scofflaws aren't sneaking into the HOV lane during busy commute hours. The drones will be equipped with GPS, high-def video cameras, radar monitors and mini-rocket launchers to target mainly construction vehicles speeding through the tricky Snowmass Canyon curves. CHP officers plan to set up their remote monitoring station in the back of the Woody Creek Tavern.
    # # #
    ROUNDABOUT 500
    In other traffic news -- the afternoon commute out of Aspen was hopelessly snarled for two hours when a ski group from Atlanta, Georgia got stuck in the Roundabout while exiting town yesterday, and wound up circling the traffic structure a full 500 times. The leader of the 12-car caravan, Jim-Bob Robert, claims he was temporarily ovecome when he spotted former racing great Janet Guthrie driving through the S-curves, and believed he was competing in a mini-Aspen version of a NASCAR event.

    And in a related story: The Aspen Chamber Resort Association has announced the debut of the "Ute City 500", a mini-NASCAR race to be held in the highway 82 roundabout in an effort to attract a "broader demographic of tourists" to the upper Roaring Fork Valley. ACRA says they already have two dozen eager sponsors lined up. Out-of-work architects are completing designs for bleachers around the circular traffic island, with concession tents planned for the center. As usual, volunteers are needed for this exciting, first-ever "Ute City 500", set to cross the finish line this June 31st. Contact ACRA for details at 925-RACE.
    # # #
    THE ASPEN FESTIVAL FESTIVAL:
    In an effort to completely eliminate the off-season, the Aspen Chamber Resort Association is teaming up with local festival organizers to create what they're calling "The Mac-Daddy of All Festivals - the Aspen Festival Festival, to be held from April 20th through June 1st. Festival coordinator Vanessa Whitberg-Champion-DeGault says the 5-week event will be "...an orgy of festivals", comprising elements of the Music Festival, Food & Wine Festival, Ideas Fest, Jazz Festival, Chili & Brewfest, Filmfest, ShortsFest, Comedy Festival, Arts Festival, Chocolate Classic, Balloon Festival, Aspen Air show, Fat Tire Mountain Bike Festival, and Ducky Derby. When asked about the absence of Winterskol from the Festival Festival, Miss Whitberg-Champion-DeGault commented, "Nobody goes to Winterskol any more. Besides - it doesn't even have the word "Festival" in it's name!". The First Aspen Festival Festival is being sponsored by Red Bull, Viagra and Depends Adult Undergarments. To reserve tent space, contact the ACRA, or log on to www.aspenfestivalfestival.com.
    # # #
    DOGG E. BAGG'S:
    Fearing for their image as a 5-star resort, Aspen City Officials have cancelled their plans to open Aspen's first-ever Food Bank, saying it sends a negative message that there are actually hungry people in Aspen. Instead, the city has signed a lease for the restaurant space formerly occupied by Zele Cafe, with plans to open a consiignment restaurant called, Dogg E. Bagg's Fine Consignment Dining. Local restaurant patrons will be able to drop off their leftovers for sale the next day to hungry diners who just want a nibble, like half a spring roll or three pieces of sushi, part of a pork chop, or half a dozen curly fries. Aspen's Chief Nutrition Officer, Debbie Cakes, explains that over 80 percent of the food most people take home from restaurants is either thrown away or fed to the dog, so it only makes sense to pre-cycle these tasty calories to the less fortunate. And certain dishes - like lasagna and meat loaf, always taste better the next day anyway. Dogg E. Bagg's will open for business on June 31st, 2009.
    # # #
    COMPUTER SCARE:
    Computer-users around the world have been fearing for their data ever since the CONFICKER computer virus raised it ugly cyber-head last October. Today was the date that CONFICKER was programmed to potentially take down millions of infected computers with its devious virus. When the witching hour arrived at midnight last night, however, computer security experts were relieved to learn that the virus was a relatively harmless prank, which merely infected the files of anyone with a Facebook page, changing their Profile Picture to a picture of a boy with a frog in his mouth. Facebook officials were unfazed, saying that the picture of the boy with a frog in his mouth was an improvement in most cases. The SPCA voiced objections to the statement by Facebook, saying frogs deserve better treatment. When reached for comment, the boy with the frog in his mouth said, "It really does taste like chicken. I was surprised!"
    # # #
    RAPTURE REHEARSAL
    Mark your calendar for December 21, 2012 -- that's the day the world will come to an end, according to the Mayan Calendar and the latest popular predictions. And a group calling itself The Rocky Mountain Rapture Rangers says they want to be prepared for the big day, so they're planning on holding monthly Rapture Rehearsals at Wagner Park in downtown Aspen. City officials have concerns, though, that the monthly gatherings will cause too much disruption to Aspen's "business as usual", especially when they learned that the Rapture Rangers plan to hold their events in the nude. The city says public decency laws prohibit this kind of in-the-buff gathering. The Rangers cite biblical precedent, claiming that when the "SAVED" are "TAKEN UP", their clothes will be left behind, and they are only aiming for biblical accuracy during their nude rapture rehearsals. City officials are meeting with church leaders to consider the special use application.
    The first Rapture Rehearsal will be held on April 12th at noon in Wagner Park. Organizers are directing the chosen few to gather in the middle of the park between 11:30 and noon. Bleachers will be set up on the sidelines for sinners. And the Aspen Thrift Store says they will be on hand to collect any leftover clothing to raise money for their new store - which, oddly enough, is scheduled to open on December 21st, 2012.
    # # #

    GOOGLE-TWITTER
    The Aspen Ski Patrol arrested a San Francisco man as he exited the Silver Queen Gondola after his fellow gondola passengers telephoned the top of the mountain to complain that the fellow was - quote -  "Googling his Twitter" right there in the gondola cabin. Ski Patrol planned to press obscenity charges against the man, but later dropped the charges when they learned that "Googling your Twitter" means something entirely different in the big city than it does among members of the Aspen Ski Patrol crew.
    # # #
    HONEYMOON GONDOLA CABINS
    In a related story: The Aspen Skiing Company will be outfitting special "Mini-Honeymoon" cabins on the Silver Queen  Gondola with cots, blackout curtains and mirrored ceilings for what they're calling "The Romance Ride" adventure this summer. They're hoping to increase summer ridership and boost revenues. The "Honeymoon Cabins" will rent for $250 per couple/per ride - with a maximum of two couples allowed on any single cabin. For an extra $500 ASC will slow the gondola down to lengthen the trip time from a brisk 16 minutes to a leisurely 35 minutes, bottom to top. In keeping with their healthy-lifestyle reputation, SkiCo rep Jeff Hanle says smoking will NOT be allowed in the new cabins. Call SkiCo at 925-1220 for details and reservations.
    # # #

    In other local news:
    • Two stupid people were arrested for doing idiotic things in a public place.
    • One rich dude sued another rich dude, who counter-sued the first rich dude over a land deal gone bad.
    • A group of people wrote letters to the editor complaining about someone else's letter to the editor. And Emzy Veazy III wrote an editorial about it.
    • A guy called another guy a name at a public meeting.
    • A non-profit is asking for money.
    • A dog was lost.
    • Another dog was found.
    • A man stole a watch.
    • A girl wrote a book.
    • A business closed.
    • A car crashed.
    • A band played.
    • A singer sang.
    • Paint dried.
    • Grass grew.
    • Glen Beck shed another tear.
    • Everything's on sale.
    • And the weather service says it might snow tomorrow - or not.
    And that's all the news YOU need to know, ripped straight from the pages of the ASPEN TIMELY NEWS. And if you don't believe me, who CAN you believe?


    ]]>     Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:45:00 GMT CA82016C16C7958DF1E04D1755D8E58C     Steve's Guitars ROCKS! http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=26307 For anyone who's heard of <a href="http://www.stevesguitars.net/" target="_new">Steve's Guitars in Carbondale and hasn't been there yet - SHAME ON YOU! It is perhaps the best venue for intimate, live, local entertainment in the Western Slope. And for local comics, it's a blast. The weekend of August 1-2 I produced two stand-up shows back to back, the first time Steve has put that much faith in comedy to fill the room. But local crowds showed up, and we played to comfortabley full houses both nights. On August 1st, Friday, local stand-up veterans Don chaney, Beth Brandon, Michael Yoder, Alexa Fitzpatrick and myself hit the stage for 90 minutes of local, stand-up comedy. Then, on Saturday, August 2nd, four more comics joined me: Todd Hartley, Stacy Feinberg, Bob Richmond and Arthur Piubeni.&nbsp; Free beer samples were provided by the <a href="http://www.aspenbrewery.com/" target="_new">Aspen Brewing Company, and despite muggy conditions the crowds stayed to the end and gave it up for the local talent. Sample some of my set on the <a href="./home.cfm">home page. That's it for now. Look for another Steve's show in September. Details forthcoming... Steve's Guitars in Carbondale and hasn't been there yet - SHAME ON YOU! It is perhaps the best venue for intimate, live, local entertainment in the Western Slope. And for local comics, it's a blast. The weekend of August 1-2 I produced two stand-up shows back to back, the first time Steve has put that much faith in comedy to fill the room. But local crowds showed up, and we played to comfortabley full houses both nights.

    On August 1st, Friday, local stand-up veterans Don chaney, Beth Brandon, Michael Yoder, Alexa Fitzpatrick and myself hit the stage for 90 minutes of local, stand-up comedy. Then, on Saturday, August 2nd, four more comics joined me: Todd Hartley, Stacy Feinberg, Bob Richmond and Arthur Piubeni.  Free beer samples were provided by the Aspen Brewing Company, and despite muggy conditions the crowds stayed to the end and gave it up for the local talent. Sample some of my set on the home page. That's it for now. Look for another Steve's show in September. Details forthcoming...
    ]]>     Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:15:00 GMT 1BA91DB3EB5E2797B86F6BBBBAE2B9CD     I'm a WINNER! (?) http://markthomascomedy.com/blog.cfm?feature=37318&postid=25366 What a way to start a blog -- announcing my selection as Winner of the First Ever Aspen <a href="http://www.aspenpitkin.com/apps/news/news_item_detail.cfm?NewsItemID=948" target="_new">Dog Poo Poetry Contest (my parents will be bursting with pride, I'm sure).&nbsp; Amazing how many people put pen to paper to share their thoughts on this subject. As for me, being half Irish and two-thirds stand-up comic, I can't resist the temptation to write a limerick on ANYTHING - especially when there's a prize involved. OK. Sorry to keep you waiting. Here's my wining entry: A Poodle-Park Pooper named Faucett Drew a firm line, and refused to cross it. &quot;Can't you see, man - I'm squattin' And I know it smells rotten. But it's your job to bag it and toss it.&quot; I read all of the <a href="http://www.aspenrecreation.com/media/pdf/DogWEB2.pdf" target="_new">other entries. Mostly crap. (Sorry - had to take the easy one there.) So...what's next for Aspen's Poop Poet Laureate?&nbsp; Perhaps an Aspen Paid Parking Trilogy? A Roundabout One-Act? Scratch 'N' Sniff Postcards? I'm going&nbsp; to take a moment to bask in the glory, and ponder the options. No doubt I'll have to wade through a few offers from literary agents first. Gentlemen: Start your bidding. Dog Poo Poetry Contest (my parents will be bursting with pride, I'm sure). 

    Amazing how many people put pen to paper to share their thoughts on this subject.
    As for me, being half Irish and two-thirds stand-up comic, I can't resist the temptation to write a limerick on ANYTHING - especially when there's a prize involved.

    OK. Sorry to keep you waiting. Here's my wining entry:

    A Poodle-Park Pooper named Faucett
    Drew a firm line, and refused to cross it.
    "Can't you see, man - I'm squattin'
    And I know it smells rotten.
    But it's your job to bag it and toss it."


    I read all of the other entries.
    Mostly crap.
    (Sorry - had to take the easy one there.)

    So...what's next for Aspen's Poop Poet Laureate? 
    Perhaps an Aspen Paid Parking Trilogy?
    A Roundabout One-Act?
    Scratch 'N' Sniff Postcards?

    I'm going  to take a moment to bask in the glory, and ponder the options.
    No doubt I'll have to wade through a few offers from literary agents first.

    Gentlemen: Start your bidding.



    ]]>     Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:20:00 GMT B77D6FF468691AE16919EAB4637C3E29